Dietrich Bonhoeffer – “Who Am I?”
Who Am I?
“Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cell’s confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a Squire from his country house.
Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
Freely and friendly and clearly,
As though it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
Equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.
Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,
Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
Tossing in expectations of great events,
Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all.
Who am I? This or the Other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?
Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am Thine!”
– Deitrich Bonhoeffer
Related Post: “Who AM I”
“Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, Thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.”
Psalm 139:2-4
Our Beloved, both being and doing that for which we, His beloveds, could never be or do; He is our Rest and riches of Reward, excellently Exceeding and Eternal. All Faith and Hope is Mercy undeserved, Love unearned, and Grace unmerited, without Whom is no Reward received. Be still and know that He Is God.
Hello – been away for 10 days slow response
Hope all is well.
BT
At the end of three weeks hospitalized, a darling, darling sister/sibling passed away yesterday afternoon. Whether she died in her sins, sadly, I am uncertain. As for me, that spirit and body stay together is entirely His omniscient, prescient doing. Each of His has so much presently to be exceedingly glad and eternally gloriously grateful for. Blessings of intimacy with Jesus to you, Brian, and all your readers, I pray.